Monday, September 12, 2016

Something Awesome (Uterus Edition)

My sister made this.  She got sick of me procrastinating on the facebook announcement.
You may have heard that Greg and I are having a baby.  In February (hopefully) or possibly March (in which case I may be a tad bit grumpy).  And we joke about it and we're excited about, but truthfully I can't express what my heart has been through in getting to this point.  Because, you see, we waited a long time for this baby.  And that's why I still have a hard time believing that this is actually happening.  But the evidence is pretty clear.  And everything looks great.  And now I have to figure out what to do with a newborn.  I hear they poop a lot.

Here are some of the highlights so far.  Because we already hit our deductible back in June (thanks to my neck) and because I begged REALLY HARD, I got a lot of early ultrasounds.  I understood fetal development as well as most people, and yet I was constantly amazed at new things that I learned and saw.  Maybe you will be too.  It's super incredible, and given the complexities of dna, it's amazing that any of us are born with the correct number of limbs.

 I was so proud of this little blob.  I was convinced that there would be nothing in there, that this was all some terrible joke my body was playing on me.  (I took a total of seven pregnancy tests and had two blood tests, but was still not convinced.)  We immediately saw the blob, with the whole middle section blinking as one big heartbeat.  This was at six weeks, and that little blob was about the size of a grain of rice, yet it had a heartbeat.  So crazy.

At this point, I was terrified of something going wrong.  I spent a lot of my days desperately praying for this tiny baby to be ok.  And then thanking God that it existed at all.  And then back to panicking.  Greg only understood a little bit.  He's one of those irritatingly logical people who simply chooses not to worry until there's something to worry about it.  Wouldn't that be nice?

I also started experiencing excessive feelings.  I cried at the grocery store, and at Target, and at home on my bed for hours on end over anything at all.  I'm normally the type of person who cries about once every six months.  Books and movies don't make me cry.  Sad puppies don't make me cry.  So this has been a bit of an adjustment, although half the time Greg thinks it's hilarious.  I was also a bit, um, ragey at times.  So if at some point in the past four months you noticed the rageyness...sorry about that.

This was at eight weeks, and the baby was about 1/2 inch long.  We got to hear the heartbeat this time, and we could see its little arm flippers.  I started to trust that it was safe and switched to a weekly rather than daily panic schedule.

This is also when I had what I called morning sickness.  For about two weeks, for a couple hours a day, I felt ever-so-slightly queasy.  And then occasionally, for about 30 seconds, I felt like I was about to throw up.  But I never did.  And it went away around nine weeks.  I know that all of the women who had real morning sickness hate me a little bit right now, but this saved me.  Because vomiting with a neck injury is a special sort of hell.  I had the stomach flu a couple years ago and threw up a total of three or four times but it hurt my neck so much that I basically spent a week wishing a meteor would crush me and end my suffering.  So if there's one pregnancy symptom I could skip, I am VERY glad it was this.

This one was at eleven weeks.  We could hear the heartbeat and see the arms and legs - almost proportional now!  And then it stretched out - arms above its head and both legs stretched as far as they could.  And then we saw one leg kick a couple times.

It blows my mind that this little creature that didn't even exist three months ago, that is only two inches long, can move and kick and put its thumb in its mouth.  How is that even possible?  How can a baby with so far to go already appear so very human?

And I feel the need to explain, just in case, that that's a leg.  I know it looks like my baby has a gigantic penis.  As far as we know, it won't actually be breaking any world records.

So now I'm sixteen weeks.  And in about a month we'll get to find out the sex.  And I can hardly believe that this is all happening.  I'm anxiously waiting to be able to feel it moving, and hoping it happens soon.  And guys, this baby is never going to have a name.  We're going to be the people arguing over names in the hospital so that we can fill out the birth certificate.  We're going to end up calling it First, or Noname, or Placeholder.  But we're going to love little Placeholder so very much that it won't matter, right?

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