Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Happy Birthday to Me

I'm turning 30 today.  How do I feel about it?

Other than that, I'm totally fine.  Super duper fine.  Fine fine fine.

So for fun (cause today is so fun already I thought I just had to share), this is a list of one thing I've learned from each year of my life.  Enjoy.

1)  My mom is awesome.

2)  Everybody poops.

3)  If you put your pants on and then realize that you forgot your underwear, you can't then put your underwear on and expect everything to work out.

4)  People are scary.  Pretend to be a cat until they go away.

5)  Sometimes people will assign all sorts of ulterior motives to your actions and won't believe you when you say that's not how you meant it.  Even your kindergarten teacher.

6)  Riding a bike is super amazing.

7)  If you have two best friends, they will never both be your friend at the same time.  You will only ever have one best friend and one enemy.  Unless they're being best friends that day, in which case you will have two enemies.

8)  Reading is important.  So is writing.

9)  Apparently fractions are a big deal.

10)  When people change, it can be difficult to rekindle a friendship.  But it's usually worth it.

11)  Hot chocolate is never a bad idea.

12)  Boys are dumb.

13)  Being a girl really sucks for approximately 4-7 days per month.

14)  Childbirth is a horrifying process.  Like seriously awful.

15)  Boys are SO dumb.

16)  There are such thing as miracles.  If you ever doubt it, ask my mom about how Sam almost died when he was two.  Also, unwrapping twenty individually-wrapped matchbox cars is really good physical therapy for a toddler.

17)  Having a boyfriend pretty much takes over your life and makes you stop caring about silly things like friends and school and family and meals.

18)  Debating everything might make you smarter, but will also make people hate you.

19)  It is totally possible to live on ramen noodles and soda.

20)  Spending the summer in Nebraska without air conditioning is never a good idea.

21)  Don't be too eager to leave college for "the real world."  It's more work, less fun, and you can't keep pretending your grandmother died to get out of things.

22)  Puppies are fun for like three days, then they're just a lot of work.

23)  Sisters are really important.  If you don't have one, get one.

24)  If you don't sugarcoat things and put tons of smiley faces in your emails, you're going to piss some people off.  Your choice.

25)  My mom is awesome.

26)  If you're prepared, change looks like opportunity.  If you aren't, change looks like disaster.

27)  Having fun creates friends.  Sharing pain creates best friends.

28)  Riding a bike is not "just like riding a bike."  Turns out it gets harder every year you don't do it.

29)  There are basically three things that can be wrong with a car:  dead battery, broken starter, or dirty mass air flow sensor.  If it's not one of those three things, you are screwed.

30)  Make time for the activities that you love.  This is what gives you energy to deal with the other stuff.

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